Sanity

So, I come to you today in a bit of despair. Do you ever have those moments or circumstances that cause you to just lose your mind? That is me today....completely and utterly crazy.

As many of you know, I am in the middle of a 3 part surgery on my jaw/mouth. I had an infection in my jaw bone, and it has been one hell of a ride. Now that the worst of the surgeries is over, I am now feeling a pain on the other side of my mouth, and thus anxiety permeates through my entire mindset. What in the world am I going to do if I have to do this alll over again? Am I just crazy? Is it all in my head?

So, naturally, I turn to the expert...Google. BAD idea. According to them, I have one of 53 problems. So then I call my dentist...they of course cannot do anything unless I go in to see them. So, should I pay for peace of mind, or do I wait to see if maybe, just maybe, I am a bit paranoid?

I would love to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and whatever happens, in the end it will all be okay, BUT, try telling that to my wallet and my fear of dentists/oral surgeons. You see, I am not one to usually jump to conclusions like this on a serious level. I joke around from time to time about average bumps and bruises, but this is different. This feels like a bad dream.

I am sorry to be selfish in my blog today...I just needed to talk my way through my emotions. A big thank you for reading. I will make it up to you by doing a Wednesday entry this week. Hopefully by that time I will be a little more sane. Until then, I will be applying for dental insurance.

I need to be strong. I need to pray.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.