Let's talk struggle.
We all experience it. We all speak the language. Whether you are struggling with work, faith, self-esteem, self-care, grief, relationships, fear, anxiety, envy, or merely your daily routine, the struggle is always so real. While struggles come in all shapes and sizes, you can imagine how different we all deal with, manage, and navigate our struggles.
I knew this post would require me to be transparent, but I never know who I am helping with these posts, so I am not apologetic for that.
First, never compare your struggles to someone else's. You are not them and they aren't you . Period. And don't EVER compare your struggles to someone's seemingly lack of struggles. You have no idea what other people may be going through.
Second, struggles can be a part of every day routine, and due to our resilience, we are able to manage and cope. But sometimes, like me currently, we can go through bouts of heaviness that requires more than we are used to doing for resilience. We feel deeper, we think more, we are hyper-aware, and we start to minimize how we feel to try and make ourselves feel better. We withdraw, we isolate, we keep quiet. We hope that people reach out, simply for reassurance that, if/when needed, there are people who want to be there. Does this make us emotionally needy? Who the hell cares....we are struggling, and the simple fact that someone else noticed something was off can sometimes bring you back to life. Sometimes reassurance is the difference between spiraling and bouncing back.
Third...when struggles become too much, or even on the verge of too much, we ruminate. We try our best to think about everything we are grateful for, everything we are blessed with, and everything we are responsible for...but it doesn't seem to compare to how we are feeling in the right now. So, these efforts become overshadowed by doubt, lack of confidence, and constant wondering, and even at times, victim mentality.
We take the steps, we talk to the ones we trust most, and we try to tap into resilience and strength. But sometimes, we run into walls, and we get tired of talking to others about our struggles. We feel we are inconveniencing or dumping on them. We don't think anyone else could possibly understand. We just rather keep it to ourselves. Our voice is null, but our thoughts are still loud as hell, stirring around, making it difficult to focus on what brings us peace.
I am a sliver linings kind of girl. You give me a negative or a problem, and I will give you three positives or potential solutions within or from that problem. It's just who I am. I love lightness. I love to see people thrive. I love celebrating people's strengths, teaching them resilience, and instilling in them that stars shine brightest in the dark. But right now, I am struggling. And that is okay. I know me, I know my heart, and I know that my struggles are TEMPORARY.
That brings me to why it is important to embrace your struggles. They challenge us, which promotes growth. We may not understand why the struggles are being experienced, or why we can't find the light sometimes, but always remember that strength comes from struggle. We are being called to prepare for something that we didn't know we could handle. We are being guided toward a solution that we didn't even know was an option for us. We are being given the opportunity to be empowered by faith, fueled by trust, and lead by the power of uncertainty. Embrace that!!
Whatever it is today that you are struggling with, remember that your feelings matter. You are validated with how you feel through your struggle, but also that you will get through it. Struggles are poorly wrapped gifts. Or the hard-to-open plastic cases, if you will. Either way, once you get through the struggle, the other side of it is what takes precedent. Understanding. Clarity. Growth.
So, when you get that email that starts with "I hope this finds you doing well", ironically reminding you of how not well life is going at this moment, remember that your right now is not your forever. Your right now is simply an experience that prepares you for the next. Whatever that may be.
Expect struggles. Don't be so naïve to think that your road is paved perfectly. If that were to be the case, think about all the wonderful things you would have missed out on through the detours you've had to take in life.
Struggle. Persevere. Struggle again. Persevere again.
You've got this. Every time, you've got this.
Much love,
Beth
