Faith Hope and Love

Not many people would consider themselves "proud" to be questioning their faith and their views and their standing with God, but I am, and here is why:

The constant questions I have regarding my Christianity is not a sign of weakness, rather, they are slight signs of doubt. I am not saying doubt it good, because I am well aware that doubt errs on the side of Satan, but doubt is what reminds me that I have something stronger than that doubt. I have faith, I have hope and I have love. I push through doubt because I remind myself to trust God and His will He has for me. Sometimes it is hard to go through my daily routine giving grace and thanks for all I am blessed with, so when issues and circumstances arise where doubt surfaces, I am reminded that I need to take time to be thankful. The questions and the doubt reign me back in, as if they are my daily reminders to not get so distracted in fear and worry that I forget to have faith and trust.

Externally, how does one NOT have questions about their faith? There are so many denominations, so many beliefs, so many practices, traditions and ways to worship. There are questions of who's beliefs are right and who's are wrong. And we mustn't forget the one of the most powerful external factor in faith: the influence of others. We are all susceptible to falling victim to damning remarks from others based on faith. People will even basically tell you that you aren't a Christian unless you live your life just like they do. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for people who believe they are doing God's work, but I just don't believe God wants people to believe they are more "right" in their practices than others.

Internally, I have grown to understand that my relationship with God is just that....MINE. I make a conscious effort on a daily basis to share the bonds of that relationship through good deeds, prayer and love. Recently, I have delved more into deeper meanings and the foundation of my relationship with Him, and I feel comfortable saying that while I am not perfect, I am still a follower of Christ. 

We are currently seeking a church to attend regularly, and while there are so many out there, I am starting to wonder if it matters which I choose. I am learning that it is not up to the pastor, preacher, priest...etc to persuade me to believe, think or feel one way or another about the message. It is MY responsibility to read and understand that scripture or message, and what it means to me and how God intends on it to pertain to my life and my understanding of His word. I am proud of the personal relationship I have with God, and so I try not to let others influence my spiritual reflection because, just to be honest, it does not concern anyone else but He and I. I am consistently growing in my faith, and I am comfortable sharing my faith and love, but I will not sacrifice the relationship I have with Him based on other people believing they are more "right" in their ways of living.  I do not understand how we can diversify Christianity when in the end we are all striving for the same fundamental unity. 

Every day is a chance to grow, and every day I choose to try harder to seek out those opportunities. Again, I am not perfect, but I perfectly okay with that. 

Peace and Joy,
Beth