Strength.
I think there is something to be said about the conceptualization of it. There is a misconception that people don't talk about. But I want to talk about it.
What we know/recognize about strength: It helps us build resilience. It protects us from our own selves so we can get through the hard parts of life. It prevents us from staying down when we are in the dark. It helps us to help others. To be able to put others before you in times of need. Strength can be running 10 miles or lifting eleventy eight pounds. It could be putting on a brave face to get through the scary. It is grit. It is fire. It is....bold. Strength is something we want to attribute to ourselves. Whether it is strong-willed, strong-minded, or strong-hearted....we want that for ourselves and for our loved ones.
But...what we don't recognize as strength: It takes A LOT of strength to allow yourself the emotional vulnerability to break down and feel your feelings in order to get through them. It takes strength to swallow your pride to accept things that need to be accepted. It takes strength to be honest and have the difficult conversations where we often deflect. It takes strength to walk away from a situation where you want to be but know you shouldn't. And it takes a hell of a lot of strength to admit to yourself when you are being selfish with your feelings. It takes strength to.... let go.
It also takes strength to be unsteady. To experience the overwhelming clouds that envelope our thoughts, tiring us and wearing us down. And it takes strength to experience that unsteadiness by telling everyone that you need time to reset. And it takes strength to be in the same situation as others, yet be in a different place emotionally about it, and to be okay with that. It takes strength to admit your're confused or overwhelmed and seek help for resolution and clarity.
We are so scared to tell people that. As if it makes us weak or unable to handle our emotions. As if those emotions are invalid or that we are not adequate enough to get through them on our own. Well, I have news for you...self-awareness is never a sign of weakness or defeat. We are human. We have feelings. Some of those feelings are hard. So to those of us who are struggling a little bit trying to navigate the emotions we think we are supposed to be feeling, let's just feel exactly what we are feeling without trying to qualify or justify them with whether we meet someone else's expectations. Strength is being confident that your feelings are valid. And that sometimes those feelings require strength from others to get through. And sometimes it requires you to sit in your car for 30 minutes, cry it out, and get on with your day. And sometimes you're compelled to give the day your middle finger, say screw it, and do something bold to get through the hard.
Selflessness is strength, but so is putting yourself first every once in a while. Taking risks takes strength, but so does working hard to maintain your structure and routine in a chaotic world. Strength is fluent in several different languages of the head, the heart, and body. Strength is allowing ourselves to get lost in a sea of emotions because we are confident that the anchors we planted will provide us with enough security to fend off any fear of never coming out on the other side of those feelings. Strength is understanding the concept of beautiful disasters, bittersweet goodbyes, and fortunate tragedies. Being able to set aside our own feelings to have regard for others. To step out of our comfort zones for growth. To make sacrifices that prioritize what is important to us in difficult times. All of it takes strength.
Never disregard the "taboo" parts of strength - the deviations from the "acceptable" notions of what strong is. Never short yourself of what you have acquired in regard to what makes you strong. And never, ever, compare your feelings to others, or to how you feel other's will perceive your ways of coping.
Find strength in yourself. Find strength in others. Find strength for others and with others. Just keep finding your strength. It is there. You're just seeing it and feeling it as a weakness. Stop minimizing your grit. It's not always about grace...
Much love, peace, and joy,
Beth
