1) After a while, you begin to feel inadequate. Yes, inadequate. You begin to feel like you don't fit ANYWHERE. You fill out applications, but no response...even after follow ups. You begin to struggle with accepting you may have to take a job that you know you won't necessarily enjoy at all. Financial responsibilities must be met, and you honestly run out of time trying to find the job you really want. This brings you to the feeling of maybe you AREN'T as good at what you do as you think you are. It begins to feel like "nobody wants you". You begin to feel like your experience in the work field means nothing because you're having to settle for a job, say, in retail just to make ends meet. Not saying retail is a bad thing...it's just not my thing.
2) Education DOES matter. I'm very much qualified to do what I feel is my calling, however, employers don't feel the same because I don't have the credentials to "prove" it. It's so unfortunate. I have the drive, I have the will, I have the creativity...and for the love of all things good, I have the experience! I'm over qualified for entry level, but under qualified for what I feel is my calling. I cannot simply go back to school, because student loans are not an available option for me. If employers could just look past the part of my resume that lists my education, and actually read my experience, maybe...just maybe I would be called in for an interview. That's my only chance to defend my position of why I feel I'm qualified for said position.
3) Applications are not the same. Want to follow up on your resume and application? Be prepared to hear "You can check the status of your application online where you applied". So, the respected art of following up to show initiative and motivation no longer exists with many companies. How are we supposed to leave a good impression, or an impressionable footprint with admin? Why is it that the application form has become the sole representation of us as a person and professional?
Knowing I likely won't get the chance to explain why I am qualified, I want more than 150-350 characters to fill out the "additional information" section. Resumes are supposed to be simple....I get that. But this is the only foot we get in the door now, so less is not more!
4) Emotional bipolar episodes. Yep. The struggle is real. In the middle if the day, out of nowhere, you realize you're jobless. You're broke. You don't know how you're going to keep going like this. You feel angry, sad, disappointed, inadequate (on many levels), worthless, and eventually, you feel like a failure. Stress wears you out, anxiety wears you down, and your strength dissipates.
Unemployment is not a vacation. It's a painful struggle that I'd wish upon no one who cannot afford it. I know my path is being paved, I'm just growing tired of the detours. I know trust and hope and faith are essential, but sometimes I'm human and I have a hard time finding them.
And when part of your support system encourages you to apply to places you'd be miserable just because they offer a good benefits package, it makes the sting a little less tolorable. Feeling like some people were actually excited that I was no longer in the human services world because it wasn't "good enough" also adds to the feelings of disappointment. Why can they not see it means something to me, deep down inside, to do the work that I do? Why have they NEVER asked why I do what I do, or what exactly it is that I do? How can they not care what differences I've made for others? How can they just make assumptions about what I do?
All questions I don't really want answers to. All I really want is a chance; An employer to believe in me like I believe in me.
Unemployment: it's for the birds.
